Finding Catarina
by Encantria
Summary: My name is Catarina Valentine, I'm 17 years old and I'm not who you think I am. This is the story of my life, it's not always happy, but I always try and make the best of situations. Cade friendship, Eventually Cabbie and Bade
1. That Wall!

**A/N: Hi Everyone! thank you very much for clicking on this story, I hope you enjoy it! Please tell me what you think, I would love to hear from all of you :) **

My name is Catarina Valentine, I'm 17 years old and I'm not who you think I am.

I stood beside Jade's Black Car and waited for her to emerge from school, I leaned back against the car watching the traffic go by on the other side of our schools hedge- I really couldn't see much at all, the hedge is so tall, green, thick and leafy- at least I could hear the cars on the other side. But I wasn't really paying attention to the cars- or anything else for that matter.

"Cat…Cat, Hello Cat; if you don't want to walk home I suggest you get in the car." I snapped back to reality to see Jade walking round the car and opening her door. Quickly, I opened my door and sat down.

"Nice to see that your actually ALIVE Cat." Jade commented sarcastically and raised her eyebrows at me as she pulled out of the Hollywood Arts car park.

"Mmm" I murmured, looking down at my horrifyingly pink frilly skirt and wishing that I didn't have to put on this dumb façade all the time. I hated pretending to be all carefree and happy not to mention being completely dumb. I suppose pretending to be something you're not ruins the whole point of having a personality and being you, but somehow that didn't stop me from making 'Cat' even stupider and more childish than before. It used to be fun to think of strange things to say at school every day, but now it just seemed completely pointless.

"Thanks Jade, I'll see you tomorrow" I gave my best friend a hug before hopping out of the car.

"Wait… Cat, are you ok?" Jade asked, showing a lot more concern than I thought was possible for Jade.

I giggled nervously wondering what on earth I could say, and 'yep' was the only thing that came to mind, so I said it. "Bye Jade, see you tomorrow" I called back over my shoulder as I ran up my drive to my front door. I dumped my bag by the kitchen table before going to find myself some orange juice.

"Catie! Your home." I turned, smiling to see my older brother Luke standing in the kitchen door way. "How was your day?" he questioned while giving me a hug.

"Tiring, as usual" I replied, "Orange juice?" I poured myself some and waited for an answer.

"No thanks" he shook his head and we both went to sit at the table. "You know you don't have to be 'Crazy Cat' all the time." He stated, putting air quotes around crazy Cat- that hurt a little.

"I'm not 'crazy'" I protested.

"Not in _that_ way, I didn't mean it like that. I only meant that you could just go back to being your self- the way you are when you're with me."

"Yep, I'll just go to school tomorrow as a totally normal Person. That would totally work! People would think I've gone crazier than they already think I am!" I picked up my bag and went to my room to have a VERY long think.

Thankfully my room is blue. Just plain blue. NOT pink. Luke helped me paint it two years ago after I started putting on the Cat act for fun. We had heaps of fun transforming the spare bedroom in to 'Cat's Room' and making crazy videos for the slap, since our parents weren't ever home, there was no one to complain about the lack of 'spare room' for guests. And neither Luke nor I had many guests. Sometimes I wish my parents had been there to complain about it, to scold us and love us, to actually be our parents. But they weren't. And over the years I suppose I'd learnt to accept that. I wasn't like the other kids at school; they all had parents to pick them up and drop them off, to come to the Easter and Christmas celebrations, the fathers and mother's day things. Luke did his best to come to what he could, but through most of my early elementary school years Luke had to go to school too. By the time I was older I had learnt to brush it off or make up some extravagant, romantic story as to where they had gone. And even when they were home I never saw them, they were always working, coming home late, attending meetings. Then they'd scurry right back to New York. Where their main jobs were.

Jade had always been there for me, her family was pretty destructive to, Luke got his diving permit as early as possible in order to be able to take us places. He was a wonderful big brother. Sometimes Jade and I would pretend we were twins, we both had brown hair and Jades eyes could look quite brown sometimes.

When we went out people would say to Luke "are these your little sisters? They are so cute! You are a very good big brother looking after them!" Luke would smile and nod, much too Jade and my delight. He was very obliging really, being our dragon, knight or handsome prince for our games. I honestly couldn't imagine life without him. When Jade and I were 9 Jades little brother Josh came along, sometimes Jades Mom was very dotting, loving Josh to bitts then suddenly she'd leave, and Jade would have to take care of him. We're not actually sure who Joshes father is, but I don't think Josh cares, when he was little and drew pictures of his family there was always Jade, Cat and Luke standing next to Josh and depending on the day sometimes his Mom might not be in the picture. It was so sad, but I think Josh is happy not to have a father who is always drunk, so now I have 2 brothers and a sister, we didn't need any parents because parents are useless.

Knock- knock… "Catie, can I come in?" Luke asked softly.

"…Yes" I responded, sitting up as he walked in.

"I didn't mean to… hurt your feelings… back there. I just… hate to see you so tired and hurt when you come home, I want my little sister back, the one that didn't care what people thought, and dyed her hair bright red just to prove that. Catie…" he took my hands in his "I want EVERYONE to see that, because you're amazing."

It took a LONG time for Luke's words to sink in, and I was only later that night when I was lying in bed that I was really prepared to think about my day and all that had happened. Cat had become my protection from the world, when Cat was there Catie didn't get hurt, Cat was insulted, not Catie, Cat played the strange silly roles in plays, not Catie. If Cat was gone how could I protect myself? People would see Catie for who she was. Did I want that? I don't know, it left Catie with no armor for the bullets of bounce off, I couldn't have that, it would hurt too much, wouldn't it?

Then again maybe I could try Catie out, just a little. Maybe I could dress the way Catie wanted to dress tomorrow; Cat WOULDN'T have any say in the matter. No pink, no frills, no sparkle. Just nice, normal clothes. Could I do that, would I dare?

I could see that my friends were changing Just as much as I had over the past few years, Tori wasn't the slightest bit nervous about her Talent or about performing, like she had been when she came to Hollywood Arts. That would be a good thing except that sometimes it seemed like she expected to get the Lead role in every play, get an A+ on every song and generally be treated like she was the best.

Even Andre seemed to think he was the best and always deserved top marks, he didn't seem to care anymore, or try, and he knew he was good so he just wrote a song the night before it was due.

Beck was so closed, he didn't show much emotion- even after he and Jade broke up, it was like he couldn't show that it hurt, he didn't tell us much anymore, and when he did it was all so general.

Jade was meaner than ever, scaring people so much that they often ran away in fright. She wasn't the fun, strange Jade that I'd known for so long, she didn't even act nice to me anymore, wasn't I her best friend?

And Robbie, the only one that seemed to see right past my Façade. I know he REALLY likes me, and I really like him, but I'm so scared. Having a boyfriend… that would almost make me normal. Did I want to feel normal? I didn't know. So every day I go to school and TRY to keep Robbie friend zoned, but it's starting not to work, I can't convince myself anymore that it's the right thing to do.

I wish things would go back to the way they were, when Jade and I were sisters and we told each other everything, where boyfriends weren't important, boys were just friends. Why did we have to grow up? Why did things change? Couldn't we stay 11 forever?

The thoughts, they were clouding up my head, being 17 was so hard, you weren't a child, and you weren't an adult. I had to make decisions and except things, I wasn't ready for that! Eventually I fell into an exhausted sleep.


	2. Waterproof

**A/N: Hey guys, from now on I'll update every Saturday but I know how hard it is to only read one chapter of a story at the very beginning :). A lot of these first few chapters are Cat remembering her childhood, there not flashbacks, just memorys- it'll make sence when you read them :) xxx**

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School is certainly something I'm not too fond of. When I started at Hollywood Arts in 9th grade I loved it. Jade and I had Audition slots right next to each other, just like we wanted; we've been friends since 2nd grade, and for as long as I can remember we both had a dream of going to Hollywood Arts. I remember my audition, I remember how hard Jade and I practiced, I had just dyed my hair red, it was short, fittingly I performed a scene from _Annie_ the movie. I had so much fun, up on that stage, I felt happy alive, like I could make my dream happen. Jade was Elphaba from _Wicked _the musical, I remember going to see _Wicked_ with her, Luke took us, we flew to new York to see Mom and Dad, they didn't have any time for us, so Luke demanded Mom and Dad buy us tickets for _Wicked_. It was amazing, we were 10 at the time, and afterwards we danced around the hotel room, singing the songs, playing as many parts as we could. After that I knew I wanted to be a performer.

And that feeling Jade and I had? The one where we felt at home on stage, where nerves were because you were so exited not because you hadn't learnt your lines properly and were scared you would forget them. Where nothing mattered but performing. That feeling went pretty quickly, we've been chasing after it ever since.

Most People think that Jade, Beck, Andre, Robbie and I have been friends forever, that's not true, we didn't even meet the guys until half way through 9th grade when we did a project with them, and even then we weren't actually friends for months after that. I don't even really remember how we became friends, it just happened. We had so much fun in 10th grade, boys were just friends' back then- for me anyway, Jade and Beck however… well let's just say things started to heat up a little. I don't even remember Jade having a crush on him, but sometime at the end of 9th grade he asked her out. When I talk about it with him, he says he found her 'interesting', he was super popular then so, I don't know, maybe it was a dare or something? But by sophomore year we were an official group. Most people ask me about Rex, if he was around then, of course he was, he's like Robbie's security blanket, silly, a bit babyish, but comforting for him. Rex is starting to disappear, thank goodness, I really don't think Rex has any 'friends', and I always prefer Robbie when he leaves Rex at home- which is a rare occurrence.

I pick my outfit carefully that morning: nothing pink, sparkly, yellow, frilly and fluffy. I pick an electric blue sundress with a white cardigan and I sweep my red hair up into a loose bun at the back of my head.

Jade picks me up every morning, I know she doesn't like driving in the day time, but it's become the only time we can talk, because the rest of the day is too busy.

"Your parents back yet?" Jade asks me, I shake my head and stare out the window; it hurts too much to talk about them.

When we arrive at school, I plaster on my usual happy face and Jade and I go and sit at our usual lunch table, Tori's already there hastily scribbling down some forgotten homework.

"Tori!" I say giving her a huge hug.

"Cat, Hi" Tori laughs, "Hi Jade" Tori looks nervice, like Jades going to do something bad to her or something, Jade won't, I know she won't. I told her to be nice, and besides she would never do all the things she threatens to do, their just to scare people away so they don't get too close. Jade likes to have that power.

We sit, watching Tori do her homework; everyone else arrives a few minutes later - including Beck. I watch Jade and Beck's expressions; they don't even look at each other.

I sigh and mutter some lame excuse about going inside. My locker is in a back corridor, close to the second janitors closet and spare printer, there's only 6 lockers here, and most people don't even know this corridor exists l, it's past the staff room, and no one dares to go past, unless they know that they are not going to get into trouble- they think that it's a special teachers section, and not for them. I painted my locker light blue with white fluffy clouds, because for me clouds are like dreams, you can't reach them now, but later do your best, try and slowly get to your feet and you will be able to reach them in time. I open my locker, it's perfectly neat and blue, just like my bedroom, and the inside of the door is covered in mirrors. The mirrors are mounted on a really thin piece of wood and in between the fragments of mirror are blue shiny stones; Luke helped me with that too. My locker is on the bottom floor, so I can sit next to it as I get my books out. I think Jade is the only one who actually knows where it is, everyone else doesn't really care. I sit beside it knowing that no one will miss me or come and get me. I stare at the blue stones for a long time, thinking about what I was going to do; I hadn't seen my parents in over 3 months, which meant they were due for a visit. Not a nice visit with presents cuddles and lots of apologies for leaving us. No, this visit would be solely for the purpose of making sure we were behaving ourselves. There would be checks of bank statements, the house, my school reports and Luke's collage work. And most if all there would be NO spending time with the children, because that might mean that you could get attached to them, and that would be BAD! The hurt that used to come with these visits -that weren't really visits, was slowly coming to a bare minimum. I don't have parents, just caretakers and a brother who did his best for me.

"Hey" a deep voice said as it sat beside me.

I turned "hi" I looked back down towards my lap. Joseph wasn't a mean guy, he had the locker above mine, but we didn't speak much, and we never seemed to be there at the same time.

"You ok?" He asked. I didn't dare look at him, I just nodded. "'Cause Cat, you really don't seem ok, whenever I see you look so upset and sad. What's wrong?" I shrugged, knowing that saying anything could make me cry. "It's ok, you don't have to tell me, but you know you're the only person Jade actually cares about, and you have so many other friends, you can talk to them, they want to talk to you your their friend. I'm no expert on friendship or people in general, but no one likes to see you when you're sad, you're the happiest and most upbeat person at this school, and it makes everyone sad to see you sad." He gave me a hug.

"How do you know that Jade actually cares about me?" I ask, tears filling my eyes. Recently I hadn't been sure, Jade and I had grown apart. We weren't like sisters any more, and I couldn't read Jade as well as I had been able to. Joseph looked surprised.

"She drives you to school and back doesn't she? It's a pretty well-known fact that Jades not a fan of driving in the day time. And Jade doesn't seem to yell at you or call you names, like she does to everyone else. And Jades your best friend isn't she?"

I nod in response.

"Cat, trust me, Jade cares about you, just talk to her." I smiled "Hang in there" he said before grabbing whatever he came for and leaving.

I was left with a feeling of shock. I just go talked to by a really sweet guy who said really nice things, but also I felt kind of bad. Was I really bringing everyone else's day down because I wasn't happy? Was I hurting everyone else by not telling them all my problems? I thought I was protecting them, they didn't have to deal with my problems and they were happy. Especially Jade, I couldn't hurt Jade, we'd both been through so much, I didn't want to see my best friend hurt again.

I felt tears run down my face, quickly I wiped them away. I couldn't cry, I just couldn't. Lucky I wore waterproof mascara today, I thought as the bell rang.

I have English first on a Friday, thankfully none of my friends are in English with me. I sit next to a girl named Shayla, she's really nice and has the longest brown hair I've ever seen. Shayla's more interested in working than talking, which is fine by me. My English teacher is rather theatrical- like every other teacher at Hollywood arts. Every lesson is like a show, pictures projected on the white board at the front, and a lot of acting out scenes from the books or movies we are studying. Except today, our normal teacher is away, so our substitute gives us a sheet to work from and then sits with her computer, ignoring us for the rest of the lesson. Most unproductive lesson of my life. I rearrange the files on my computer, now there all neat and tidy!

It wasn't like I did anything much the rest of the day; we finish early on a Friday Afternoons so I got a lift home with Jade. I think for the first time all day she noticed I wasn't wearing my usual pink fluffy Attire.

"That's a nice dress, Cat." Jade smiled softly "it's not pink."

I smoothed down my blue sundress, "Thanks" I smile, properly, for the first time all day. Jade smiles back, a nice smile, one that I know so well from our childhood, but never seems to show it's self anymore. I give Jade a hug and another smile before running inside my house.

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**A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it :) tell me what you think, I love constructive criticism, so go for it :). if you don't want to review that is totally fine, I'm not going to make you so don't worry. **

**Thank you so much to:**

**sshaw101, CaburpleGiraffe and Where Butterflys Never Die for your reviews on the last chapter, it really means a lot :)**

**- Encantria 3**


	3. Mine

**A/N: Hi Everyone! Thank you to everyone who Reviewed, Favorited and Followed this story. I Hope you enjoy this chapter :) **

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I run inside, letting the door slam behind me "I'm Home!" I yell, thrilled to be home and not at school. I go to dump my bag in the kitchen, at the table are sitting two people I haven't seen in a long time, my parents.

"Catarina! Don't yell! My mother tells me, not even saying hello.

"Don't slam the door either, it breaks the Catch!" my father growls. I look from one to the other, incredulous.

"You're home." I say, not sure if I'm happy about it. They could have at least called, or warned me or something!

"Catie." Luke gives me a hug "how was school?"

I turn to face him "It was ok" I don't want to talk to them. I grab my school bag and turn to leave.

"Dinner is a t 7" Mom says, not even looking up from her book.

"And take that awful color out of your hair" I ignore Dads comment, and go to my room.

I dump my bag on the floor and flop on my bed, looking up at the celling. When you turn out the lights there are stars in the shape of constellations, mirroring the outside world. When I was younger I used to imagine myself hopping from star to star, dancing, twirling, singing. Sometimes I'd imagine Jade would be there with me, we'd concur the universe, just the two of us. Parents wouldn't matter, they be long gone. Our brothers would need saving, and when we had we'd build a house on mars, we'd make friends with aliens. They would invite us to tea, and they would tell us about all the other aliens on neighboring planets.

There was no time for dreaming now, no time for fantasies, and no time for Cat anymore. People had forgotten me, I was there, but they could only see me when it was convenient for them. If my parents had no time for me and neither did my best friend then who would? I sobbed for a good 20 minutes before hopping in the shower, it would mask the sobs.

Dinner was Spaghetti and meatballs, I used to love the way my Mom made it, but now it just tasted like cardboard. Half way through my Mom picked up her napkin, wiped her mouth neatly and smiled at me. I was shocked, since when does my Mom simile, especially at me?

"Catarina, your Father and I have had a long talk and a long think, and we have decided that we don't spend enough time with you." I stared at Mom, trying to take in what she just said, had I heard right? Did they really want to spend more time with me?

"We have decided that we have missed out onto much of your life." She reached over and stroked my hair; I wasn't sure what to do. Who had taken my Mom? Where was she? This couldn't be her, not the woman in front of me who was smiling lovingly, who liked my hair. No. My Mom HATED my red hair; she'd told me I looked stupid, that everyone would think that, but I'd learnt to ignore my parents cruel comments and go with what I knew was right. Besides what right did my Mom have to say ANYTHING? She hadn't been in most of my life and I certainly wasn't planning on letting her in now.

"No" I say "No. You can't take me away; I can't go to New York. My life is here, my family, my school, everything!"

My Mom looks shocked "Catarina! We are your family, and as your parents we are telling you that we are moving to New York!"

I shake my head and stand up "No, you two are not my family! Luke, Jade and Josh are. If you were my family then you would have been there for me. You would have been at my elementary and middle school graduations, you would have been here for all the plays I've been in, you would have been here every time I got bullied, you would have comforted me and told me that they weren't worth my time. You would have been here the day I got my acceptance letter into Hollywood Arts, you would have been here when my heart got broken. And what about all the birthdays, mothers days and fathers days? You would have been here for those too. "

I could feel hot tears of frustration run down my face, I took a deep breath and kept going "if you were my parents, if you really loved me, you would have been here for everything, you wouldn't suddenly decide twelve years after you left that you could just come back and expect me to trust you and let you in my life. You lost the right to do that when you left us twelve years ago." I'm sure by that point I looked quite a sight. Everyone looked completely shocked, my Mom looked like she might fall off her chair, I didn't care. "My home, my life, my friends are all here. I am not going to New York, you can't make me. I'll find a way to stay here; I don't care what it takes!"

With that I turned and ran out of the house, I ran down the driveway and out onto the street, I kept running till finally I collapsed in front of a lamppost. I sobbed for a few minutes before pulling my phone out of my pocket. It took a Moment before she picked up.

"Cat?"

I breathed a sigh of relief followed by a sob.

"Jade, can you come and get me please?" I sobbed in to the phone.

"Of course. Where are you?"

I looked around for anything that might tell me where I was, my eyes settled on the street sign. "Adams Street" I chocked out.

"Ok" I could hear Jades car starting "I'll be there in a few."

"Kk" I said in a small voice as the line went dead.

I sat, the tears seemed to have stopped, and now I just felt tired and a little sick. I waited, the blue skirt of my sundress seeming faded and sad compared to this morning, I shivered trying to cover my bare shoulders with my hands as best I could. I was so intent in trying to warm myself up that I didn't notice Jade pull up in front of me. She gave me a huge hug and I started to cry again as Jade gently lead me in to the car.

She pulled me into a hug again once we were inside, "your parents are back, aren't they?"

Her question was completely rhetorical but I nodded into Jades shoulder anyway. She sighed.

"They want me to go to New York with them." A fresh wave of tears left me sobbing into Jades shoulder.

"No! You can't go!" Jade sounded terrified "I know I don't say this enough Catie, but you're my best friend! You can't go."

"I know." I say, "That's why I ran away."

"You can stay at my place if you want."

I nod "yes please"

Jade drives straight back to her place, I try to hold in my tears, but I end up hiccupping a lot. Jade takes my hand gently and leads me inside and to the kitchen; she clears some space at their kitchen table and sits me down while she makes drinks.

"It's ok to cry Catie, crying is good for you." She smiles sweetly and beings two hot chocolates over. Hot chocolates were Jades specialty before she discovered coffee. I sip the hot chocolate slowly and shiver as it travels through my cold body. Jade jumps up and finds a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders. It's been so long since she called me Catie, it feels so good.

"So what's going on?" Jade asks gently.

I wipe my eyes and tell her the story of my night, it comes out in little hiccupy gasps but eventually I Finish, Jade nodes slowly and sighs. I feel two little arms go around me and I look up to see Jades little brother Josh, he looks so innocent.

"Don't cry Catie." He tells me sweetly. I wrap my arms around him, trying not to cry. "Why are you sad?" He asks

"My parents don't think I should live here anymore." I explain to him.

"Where do they think you should live?"

"In New York"

Jade similes at Josh, "hey Joshie, how would you like Catie to live with us for a little while?"

His face brightens, and he nods vigorously "Yer Catie! Live with us!"

Jade laughs "Alright, I have to talk to Catie a bit more, so why don't you have a shower now?"

He smiles happily and runs off. "Now you'll have to stay, because he won't let you go." Jade grins. "Come on, you're about to fall of that seat you're so tired." She leads me into her room, "get yourself something to sleep in and lie down" she points to her bed, "I'll make the other one." I go to Jades closet and pull out one of Jades old shirts, Jades closet hasn't changed a bit and neither has her room, surprisingly the shirt isn't black, its light blue and has a logo for a running thing on the back. I sit on Jade's bed and look around her room, its purple, the furniture is all made of a dark brown wood, Jade loves that color, she says its dark enough to look neat and light enough not to look like coffin wood. Her bedspread is varying shades of dark purple with sequins and beads sewn on it, everything is perfect and neat, unlike the rest of the house. Jades Mom has no taste for cleanliness or personal hygiene, and hard as Jade try's she's never been able to keep the house clean. Josh is very obliging and keeps his room clean, but the rest of the house is a war zone of alcohol and rubbish.

Jade and I used to sleep over at one another's houses all the time, so we both have trundle beds, they fit neatly under the bed and slide out whenever you need them. Jades pulls it out on the other side of her bed away from the door, she used to say it was because she didn't want to go tripping over me when she got up in the night, but now I know that it's so Jades Mom doesn't see the bed and doesn't hurt me.

As soon as Jade finishes making the bed I tumble in, Jade hugs me goodnight and tells me she will just check on Josh and do a bit of cleaning up and to call out if I need anything. I fall asleep Moments later.

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**A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter, its a bit sad, but i really enjoyed writing it :)**

**Thank you to TheLostTech, vanillaandtoothpaste, sshaw101, CaburpleGiraffe and Just some guy for reviewing. It means a lot and I really hope you continue to like this story, your feed back is extremely valuable to me! :) **

**- Encantria 3**


	4. Waffles!

I wake up to sun streaming through Jade's purple curtains; I remember waking up to this all the time when I was little. It wasn't usually so bright because we'd get up at some ridiculous hour of the morning, and we'd play all day. Jade and I were very independent from when we were very young, we had to be. Jades Mom would leave Josh with Jade all the time, we learnt to call a babysitter and pretend we were Jades Mom so the babysitter would come. Jade would take the money out of her Mom's wallet to pay whichever babysitter it was that day and we would go to the park down the street. By the time we were twelve Luke had enrolled us in martial arts to try and keep us safer, Jade was very good at it, and me…. Not so much. Luke tried to look after us when he could, but he had school, a life. I didn't want him to throw it all away on me.

I remember some of the games we used to play at that park, in a bad neighborhood, with broken swings. In fact it wasn't just the swings that were broken, it was the whole park. If my parents had known I was playing there they probably would have had a fit, but they didn't know and probably never will. Jade and I used to be good fairies when we got there every morning, we would fix the park up, paint it different colors in our imaginations, each morning we'd reinvent it, make it into whatever game we were playing that morning. Pirates, Princesses, peasants, dragons, superheroes, witches or giants. Sometimes we'd play Adults, mothers or teenagers, in all of these games we'd always be there for our kids; we would never leave them to play in a forgotten, broken park on their own.

We were normal kids, playing normal games, and in some ways I think Jade and I had a better childhood than most kids, we played and let our imaginations run wild, there was never any money for TV or internet at Jades house and my parents were firm believers that television was bad for kids. The Movies that we saw were few and far between, each movie gave us a new game to play, we saw Barbie as Rapunzel and instantly I was Rapunzel and Jade was Penelope the dragon.

I think that's why we both like acting so much, you step into another character for a little while, and you don't have to be you. For a little while your problems didn't matter, you could focus on the characters. At the end of a movie or episode, the problems for that episode were gone, no more worrying about them.

Slowly I get up, my balance is really out this morning, and usually it's a bit out, but this morning its WAY out, I sit on Jades bed waiting for the dizzy feeling to go away.

"Oh good, you're up." I turn to see Jade smiling at me. "I was just about to wake you."

"What time is it?" I ask, the dizzy feeling has just about passed.

"You slept in late; it's almost 11:30."

"What?" I almost yell.

"Yep, you hungry?" Jade just keeps smiling, this is the happiest I've seen her in ages. I nod, I realize I really am, I ate almost nothing all day yesterday. She smiles.

"How about waffles?" I nod again, Jade turns and starts to dig in her closet, she pulls out a neatly labeled coat hanger 'Cat's stuff ', I remember putting that here. Jade and I used to have a couple of sets of clothes at each other's houses- for obvious reasons.

"I don't know if any of it will still fit" Jade studies the clothes, "if it doesn't then you can borrow some of mine. You know where the shower is, the waffles will be ready when you're done." She throws the coat hanger over to me and walks back to the kitchen. I pick it up and study the items, there's a bra that would probably still fit and some underwear, thank goodness because borrowing someone else's underwear is just plain weird- even if they are your best friend. I haven't grown much since 8th grade, which I think is the last time I put new clothes here; I pull a few items off and take them to the bathroom for a shower.

I try and keep my showering to under 10mins, I dry my hair a little and go to see Jades amazing waffles. The thing people didn't know about Jade was that she is an AMAZING cook; she hates to tell people because it will ruin her 'bad girl image'. I get that, but I wish she would cook more often, I'm really going to fill up on Jades cooking this weekend- it's much better than my Mom's or mine.

"So Catie" Jade starts as the divvies out the waffles on our plates, "what do you plan on doing?"

I look up, already half way through my first waffle, "what do you mean?" I ask

"Well, like… with your parents and stuff." Jade avoids looking at me, cutting up her waffles into little pieces.

I sigh, my parents. That is a very good question.

"If you want… you can stay here." Jade tells me. I look up, a smile creeping on to my lips.

"I can?" I grin

"Yep." She looks over at me, and points her fork, "but we have got to get you something to wear other than… that."

I laugh "yerrrrr… this isn't exactly the most flattering thing I've ever worn." Jade and I both laugh for a few minutes.

"Are your family going out at any time today?" she asks.

"Ummmm…" I think, "Well, I didn't exactly have time to check that with them, but usually, Luke has a study session at 12:30 every Saturday, and my parents go to a meeting for most of the afternoon after they get back. So from about one onwards…" I trail off.

"Good, were leaving at quarter to one."

Well that was decided quickly… we finish our waffles and Josh appears.

"Catie!" he flies into my arms "Are you staying?" he looks at me with big blue-green eyes that are just like Jades.

"Would you like her to stay?" Jade asks Josh with a smirk. He nods so much I'm worried his head might fall off. Jade and I both laugh.

"Then I guess it's settled!" I laugh "I'll stay."

"Forever?" he Questions.

I look at Jade, she looks back at me, "we'll see" I smile; hopping it will satisfy the little boy.

I help Jade clean up as best we can; Jades Mom has strong objections to Jade cleaning up her pigsty of a house. We aren't sure why, she never liked us cleaning up, but Jade keeps her room, Josh's room and their bathroom clean. In the rest of the house there are Alcohol bottles cigarette butts and a lot of little bits of rubbish. We set off to my house, leaving Josh with the old lady who lives next door to Jade and would LOVE some grandchildren- she has kind of adopted Jade and Josh.

Jade's Dad bought her this car for her 16th birthday, as a way of trying to compensate for not being in her life. Even still, Jade loves this car mainly because it gives her independence. This drive feels so different from all the drives to school, not only because were not actually going to school but also because Jade looks a lot happier, neither of us are wearing out usual clothes- in my case that's not exactly my choice, but it's still nice. We didn't put makeup on this morning either, we both obviously brushed our hair but it's not curled or straightened or had anything applied to it. I love it this way, it reminds me of when we were little, our appearance didn't matter, it didn't matter how old or shabby our clothes were, we could be Catie and Jade with no limitations at all. Something that is impossible now.

My House looks exactly the same as it did yesterday, but somehow I feel like a complete stranger here. I link my arm through Jades tightly, she smiles encouragingly at me. I retrieve the spare key and unlock the front door, I can see my Mom has already had a good go at the house, it's spotless. Except when I get to my room.

"Wow, what happened here?" Jade asks, shocked.

I stare open mouthed at my room, there are clothes and things scattered everywhere. "I don't know. I left it pretty clean." I sigh. For the next half hour Jade helps me put everything back in the right place and I pack my clothes, laptop and various other things I'll need.  
"Hang on." Jade says as we are just about to finish, "didn't you paint your room pink?" she looks rather confused, I laugh. And lead her down the hall to 'Cat's Room'. Jade stares at the room and then turns to me "you really made changes to this room, it's rather…"

"Pink?" I finish for her.

"Yes, pink that's it, and colorful."

"You've been here before, you know. When we filmed all those videos for the slap?"

Jade nodded "I know, but I think I forgot." We both laughed.

Jade helps me put the rest of my room straight and I look around slowly and switch off the light.

As we're leaving Luke appears. "Catie, Jade. How are you two?" we both mutter something along the lines of good, not actually looking at Luke. "I should have guessed when you didn't come home last night that you'd be at Jades place."

"Where else was I going to go?" I retaliated.

"Ummm… let me think about that" Luke pretends to think, "how about HERE! Besides what is so bad about going to new York?"

"Everything, didn't I make my reasons pretty clear last night?"

"It was pretty unfair what you said to Mom and Dad; they want to spend more time with you."

I'm shocked. How could he say that? Wasn't he on my side? "Easy for you to say" I almost yell. "They were there for your childhood; they were there at all your graduations, for your first day of collage. They left when I was five, FIVE. They didn't even take me to my first ever day at school. They missed most of my birthdays, when I was six they sent me $200, what is a six year old meant to do with $200?"

"I banked that money for you. And besides at age thirteen I was landed with a five year old sister. I'm pretty sure I had it harder than you." Luke glared at me.

I could feel a sob rising in my throat "I thought we were a team. You and me Luke. That's how it's always been. Why isn't it like that anymore?" I felt a tear run down my cheek. I wiped it away "you can go to new York if you want, I can look after myself now, and I'm sorry I was such a burden then. All I ask is that when you pack up the house; tell me so I can get the rest of my things."

Jade picks up my bag and leads me away. When I turn I can see Luke thinking hard, he hasn't moved. I cry for a few minutes and Jade hugs me tight.

I think that Jade has been the best thing that has ever happened in my stupid, mixed up life.

* * *

**Hi! I hope you all enjoyed that chapter. It kinda ends sadly... well Sometime in the future Cat's life will get better! **

**Thank you to all those who reviewed and especially to sshaw101 for showing me how PM's work... Much appreciated, as I seemed to be having much more trouble than necessary with those...**

**Do tell me what you think!**

**Well until next week :) **

**- Encantria 3**


	5. Imagination

I am pleased to say that the rest of the weekend went a lot better that the visit to my house, Jade takes us to the local park to have a picnic dinner on Saturday night. It's not the park Jade and I used to play in when we were little, Jade would never let Josh play there it's too dangerous; this park is in the opposite direction about 15 minutes' drive away. It's a lovely park with swings, a couple of slides, a wooden pirate ship, a sandpit and a climbing frame. Josh loves it and so while Jade and I set out the picnic, he runs from piece to piece delightedly yelling and laughing.

Jade smiles "He loves this park. No matter how many times I bring him here it never gets old to him."

I grin to "He's just like his big sister; he has a very vivid imagination."

By the time we Finish dinner it's only 5:30, we have about an hour to sunset so Jade puts the picnic things in her car and we pirates with Josh, he's recruited some other kids to be pirates with him, so Jade and I pretend to be the cooks. In many ways Josh is just like Jade, sweet and imaginative, but Josh has a way with the other kids that Jade never had. He doesn't demand the do things, he doesn't tell them that they have to do this or that, he might be the captain of this pirate ship, but he doesn't push his crew around.

Sweet, I know that's not a word that most of the world would use to describe Jade, but the second you see how well she looks after that little boy, you'll understand what I mean. And Besides, Jade wasn't always like the way she is now, she started getting tough when she realized that we had to protect ourselves, we must have been about 7, Luke didn't have his driver's license then, so Jade and I walked to and from school every day by ourselves, usually we'd go back to my place to avoid Jades drunk mother, and on the way home there would be gangs of high school kids that just loved to pick on two little 7 year olds walking home alone. Jade defended me every day and by the time we were 9 most of the gangs were too scared to come near her. Of course it's only got worse since, Jade doesn't scare people now so were safe, she scares them because she can. But I know under all the toughness, my Jade is still there, I can feel the rock around her slowly chipping away.

Jade and I watched Josh with absolute delight; we'd participate in the game when necessary, but most of the time we just watched. The other kids were so cute, one little girl came up to me and said,

"Why is your hair red?"

I smiled and replied "Because I like this color, don't you?"

For a Moment the little girl seemed to be considering it but then she smiled "Yer, I do like it. It's the same color as red velvet cupcakes, there my favorite!"

"Mine too!" I said with a laugh, the little girl grinned and skipped off.

Then at exactly the same time mine and Jades phones buzzed, I froze, what if it was my family, Luke could have texted me, I didn't want to hear the pleas to come back, I didn't want to hear from them at all. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath; it probably wasn't them, if it was they would have called, right? I pulled out my phone, keeping my eyes closed, I opened one eye just enough to see who it was, Andre. I let out a sigh of relief and opened the message.

_Andre: Hey everyone, just wondering if you wanted to go for dinner at Nozu's at 7ish? Let me know!_

I looked at Jade she showed e her phone, with the exact same message, I turned mine so she could see it, she pointed at one name in the mass text: Beck, and shook her head.

I typed: _Hey Andre, sorry can't come L see you on Monday. _

I showed it to Jade. She smiled and turned back to her phone to write back. I knew that seeing Beck hurt Jade more than she let on, and besides this was a Jade and Catie weekend. No one else- except Josh. I wish that Jade would just admit that she still needs Beck, that he makes her happy, and that she's totally lost without him.

Once Jade and I had watched the sunset we took a very tired Josh home, Jade carried him inside the house, like the good big sister she is and then put him to bed. I was putting away the picnic things when she came back.

"He is absolutely filthy!" She collapsed into a chair, "I am going to have to wash his sheets in the morning."

I laughed "Surely he's not _that _dirty."

"Wanna bet?"

"Will Josh be hurt to know you're putting bets on him?"

"He won't ever know."

I raised my eyebrows at her "Oh, wont he?"

Jade stood up "No, ho wont." And then she started to tickle me, in Moments we were both on the floor, laughing hysterically.

"What are you doing?" we both twisted around to see Jades Mom standing in the doorway.

"Mom" Jade stutted out "would you like some dinner? There's lots of stuff leftover."

"Leftovers? You only left leftovers for me?"

"Mrs. West.." I started

She whipped around "DO NOT call me Mrs. West, I am not Mrs. West anymore. I would have thought you would know that, _Cat_arina. After all you were there when the divorce was finalized, weren't you?" she was right in front of me now, I was backed up against the counter. I racked my brains, what was her maiden name? Had Jade ever told me? First name? I couldn't think of anything.

"Ok" I whispered. Suddenly she was being pulled away, I was free!

"Never, yell at my best friend, _Mother_." Jade hissed at her. "Come on Catie, let's go to bed." She took my hand and led me away from the partially cleaned kitchen. "Are you ok?" Jade asked as soon as we were safely inside her bedroom, I could see the concern in her eyes, something that usually Jade West would never show.

I nodded, "She won't come in here, will she?" My lip wobbled a little. I couldn't cry, that whole thing was my fault, wasn't it? I should have known better, I _was_ there- at the divorce court. Jade hugged me tight.

"No, that stupid woman wouldn't dare."

I had forgotten how cruel and vicious Jade and Joshes Mom could be, she had never been very motherly to Jade as long as I had known her, and was slowly getting worse with Josh.

"I was so hopping that she would still be out or drunk enough that she wouldn't wake up, but here she is, not the slightest bit drunk." We were silent for a minute; before Jade said "I'm sorry that she's here, FULLSTOP!" a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"Why not tell child services? They would take her way, you'd be safe!"

Jade shook her head, "no, it doesn't work like that Catie." She whispered. "I might be rid of her, but I'd lose Josh to. My dad would have to take me, but he wouldn't take Josh, and even if he would, he doesn't have legal guardianship." I wrapped my arms around her; tears were falling in plenty now, Jade leaned her head on my shoulder. "I've got to wait until I'm eighteen, maybe they'll let me have legal guardianship of Josh then. Until then… I have to put up with her, to keep him safe." She gave a heavy sob.

"It's ok, only another few months, then you can be free." She nodded into my shoulder "Bed?" I asked. She nodded again; I picked up a tissue and wiped her eyes and mine, before finding our pajamas. I lay with Jade on her bed until she fell asleep, it didn't take long, but I fell asleep before I could move myself to my bed.

We woke up late the next morning, still lying together, when I looked up at Jade I could see traces of tears on her face. Better check on Josh, I thought, untangling myself from Jade.

Josh was Quietly playing in his room with his blocks and dinosaurs, I sat beside him "What are the dinosaurs doing?"

"Their building a house, this is little dinosaur, and this is big sister dinosaur." He pointed to each in turn

"Oh, what kind of house?" I questioned him.

"Just a house where they can live, doesn't matter how big, just as long as their together." I watched him fit the blocks neatly together into a square.

"It looks like a very nice house, is there going to be anyone else living there?"

"Maybe big sisters best friend." He pointed to a bright red dinosaur "she's very nice, and she makes big sister happy.

I smile "No Mommy or Daddy?"

He shakes his head "they don't need Mommy's or Daddy's, they just need each other. Big sister is like a Mommy, a REAL Mommy. She makes the best food in the world, she keeps everything neat and clean, she washes the clothes, she takes little dinosaur to school… and she gives the best hugs ever and really loves little dinosaur."

"She does, doesn't she?" I smile "You know Jade loves you more than anything in the world, and she will do anything to keep you safe. You know that don't you Joshie?"

Throughout the whole time I'd been in the room he hadn't looked up once, now he looked up at me, his eyes shining with tears "Even more than you? Even more than Beck?"

I nod "Jade and beck are broken up though." I reminded him.

"But she still loves Beck, doesn't she Catie? And you're her best friend, the only one of her friends that ever comes over…"

"You're her little brother, the only real family she's got."

"And you, you're family, Jade says so! I heard Jade tell Beck she loves him… I like Beck, he's nice, will he ever come back?"

"Joshie, I'm not blood related to you. You know what that means don't you?" he nodded "but you are like my little brother. And Beck… that's something you'll have to speak to Jade about. I don't know how she feels."

"I want two big sisters, Jade and you. And Luke can be my big brother. Do you think he will be?"

"I think he'd love to be."

He was silent for a moment, then suddenly he looked up, terror in his eyes "Will my mom ever hurt me? Or Jade? Or you?"

"No, Jade would never let her hurt any of us, you're totally safe." I stopped and gulped "Josh, how much did you hear last night?"

He fiddled with his dinosaurs "Mom yelled at you, and then Jadey cried, she said she had to wait until she was eighteen to be my guard."

"Legal Guardian, kiddo. It means you and Jade will live in a house together, Just like your dinosaurs. Jade just wants you to be safe and happy."

"Why is my Mom always so angry? Doesn't she love me anymore?"

"Josh, she does love you, in her own way. But I don't know why she's angry so often."

"Doesn't she like you?"

"I don't know kiddo, but you have Jade and I. Josh, if you ever want to talk about _anything_, Jade and I will always be here."

"You and Jade will be here forever, won't you? You won't leave, will you?"

"Oh Joshie!" I gather him into a hug, "no matter where any of us are, we will always be in your heart, and we'll only be a phone call away. Jade and I will always be here for you."

"Promise?" he asked.

I nodded "Always and forever kid. Always and forever."

He smiled and hugged me Hard. "I love you Catie."

"I love you to Joshie." I grinned "now have you had a shower?" He shook his head "go, before Jade wakes up." He smiled and disappeared. I checked his sheets, totally clean. I smiled; Jade has nothing to worry about.

The picnic things! We never cleaned them up. I ran into the kitchen, they were still untouched and still in a huge mess, I cleaned up. Wondering what on earth we could do today, outside the kitchen window it was pouring with rain. I walk into the Lounge room, there's cigarettes, beer bottles and rubbish everywhere. I check the rest of the house, Jades still asleep, Josh is playing with his blocks- I tell him to make his bed, and Jades Mother is nowhere to be seen. I breathe out a sigh of relief; she must have gone out drinking or something. I find the dust pan and brush and start cleaning up the lounge room, we can have a movie day. I've almost finished vacuuming the lounge room when Jade walks in, her hair is everywhere and she's still in her pajamas.

"Catie! Oh wow! The lounge rooms clean… what are you planning?"

"I figured since it's raining so hard outside, that we could have a movie day. And I knew you wouldn't let us have one in here since it was so discussing, so I cleaned. I'm going to mop next."

"Thank you! Wow… I haven't seen it this clean since… since we moved here I think." Jade walked around, staring at the furniture, "look at all the stains my mom has left- she's discussing."

"Oh, I couldn't get them out."

"That's ok, how early did you get up?"

"About nine, I sent Josh for a shower. And his sheets are completely clean, so you don't have to worry."

"Thank you!" she gave me a warm hug. "I'll make pancakes." she smiled at me again before leaving.

I got back to my work, it's a quick finish. I find some brightly colored blankets and lay them over the chairs, lastly I put a table in the middle for food. I find Josh playing in his room, he's very quiet.

"Joshie are you hungry?" I ask. He looks up and nods solemnly. "Have you had anything to eat today?"

"I had some cereal, but it's not very crunchy anymore. I think that was at six-thirty." He moved the blocks around.

"Oh Joshie! Jades Making pancakes and we figured since its raining we would have a movie day, how does that sound?"

He gives me a huge grin, and stands up "Can we watch cars? And Land before time?"

I laugh "I think we can. Do you want to grab them?"

Josh has always been obsessed with dinosaurs; most kids grow out of it, but not Josh. Jade found a series of videos a few years ago called the land before time, they are about dinosaurs- talking dinosaurs. Hes been obsessed with them ever since, I think He owns every one now.

Our Movie Day was very successful, we watched every movie in the house and more on the internet (except the scissoring- Jade won't let josh watch that.) But in those gaps between the interesting bits of movies I was left to my thoughts. They weren't pretty.

Why hadn't my parents wanted me all these years? Did I do something wrong? Was I a bad Daughter?

Why didn't Luke take my side? Why does he even want to go to New York? His collage is here?

I really hated the fact that no one had tried to contact me, did they not want to see if I was ok? Or didn't they care? Just because I was staying with Jade didn't mean that they could Just ignore me, Yer, Jade and I might be talking properly again, but that didn't mean I was ok. I wasn't. Catie still needed protection, and while I could kind of be myself with Jade and Josh, Catie was still scared and wanted to run and Hide. Sitting down and talking was not something I really wanted to do, as if anyone would actually understand, even Jade. Maybe I was just like they said in health class, maybe I am depressed, and maybe I need help. But going to talk to someone… I just couldn't do it; they couldn't fix my stupid mess up life could they? No one could not even me, was it even worth my while anymore?

A/N: Hi Everyone! I hope you all had a good week :) and enjoyed this chapter.

Thanks to sshaw101 and CaburpleGiraffe for their continued support, it is much appreciated! Tell me what you think

xxx 3 Encantria


	6. My Secret World

As unhappy as I was, I had no intention for Jade to feel like this was her fault, if hurt was a release for me, it wouldn't be for Jade or Josh. Josh was my little adopted brother, I didn't want him to be scared for life because of my feelings of pointlessness.

I think I could get a Grammy for the performance I put on that week, the efforts I went to, to keep Cat out in the open, to make Catie go away. It was hard work, and I think it put more strain on me than normal; I'd get back to Jade's Hose and literally collapse. Jade tried to make me go to the doctor, I couldn't. What would I tell them?

"Oh, I'm pretending to be something I'm not, so my friends don't get hurt. I get so tired that I collapse when I get home." Yer-right, the doctor would look at me like I was crazy and assign me to a mental ward.

I AM NOT GOING TO A MENTAL HOSPITABLE.

I'd go even more insane than I am now. That wouldn't end well.

In some ways I kind-a feel bad about all the awful things I've been making up about my brother that week, but at the same time it's a kind of pay back for not supporting me. I think Jade wonders what happened to the girl on the weekend, she didn't say much about the whole thing, but yesterday she said:

"Catie, If you're sad, it's ok. You don't have to go through this alone."

And that was that. I don't really want to talk about it, I don't want to ruin Jades Life, that would be the worst thing a best friend could possibly do.

So I keep up the Act, today- Friday, I'm so tired I found it hard to cover up the dark circles under my eyes. I haven't been sleeping; Sleep gives me no peace, neither does being awake for that matter. My Parents coming home is really starting to sink in. They obviously don't love me, they never did.

So, Today. Being on my own just seems to make things worse, so I try my best to make sure I'm with someone at all times, though I think everyone's getting sick of me following them everywhere . I'm Happy to say that first Break went Quite well went quite well, Lunch however, didn't

"So what is everyone doing this weekend?" Tori asked, taking a bite of her salad.

"Well, what are you doing?" Andre replied, smirking.

"I don't know, that's why I asked." Tori said indignantly.

"One day My Brother-" I started.

"Cat, don't start on that." Jade patted my hand. I was shocked she couldn't just _STOP_ me I was Cat, you couldn't stop Cat. I took a deep breath, in… and out. I looked down at my spaghetti, twirling it around my fork. I didn't try to speak for the next few minutes I just listened to the bickering between them all, about what they were going to do on the weekend, the newest assignment, the answer to a question asked in class.

Who Cares? I thought. I stabbed my meatballs hard. Stupid family! Stupid Friends! Stupid Feelings! Stupid Life!  
"Cat, are you ok?" Tori looked concerned, concern that I DIDN'T need.

I nodded, resisting the urge to punch a hole right through the packaging with my fork.

"You really don't seem ok" Tori reached across the table and held my hand, I ripped it away.

"I'm fine" I growled, gritting my teeth.

"You know you can tell us anything." Andre said.

That was it, I snapped. "Look, Stop asking me if I'm ok. I'm Fine. And even if I wasn't it wouldn't be any of your business." I looked at all their faces for a split second, a mixture of shock, sadness and concern painted all their features. It only made me angrier. I spun around and ran inside.

I couldn't go to my locker, first place Jade would look. Not the Janitors Closet, everyone would look there multiple times. My other hiding spots would be easily discovered if I cried. The last place. No one knew it was there, I don't even think most of the teachers new. I ran into the back passages, past the classrooms that weren't used, to the end of the corridor, the door that everyone believed was locked or bricked up. I twisted the door handle to a point and it clicked open. I shut the door quietly behind me and tiptoed down the wooden steps and into the schools basement. At the very back, round a large corner and through a small gap was a stack of boxes, I slipped in behind and sat down. I found this place shortly after we started here, at first I didn't come here often, but over the years it's become a frequent spot. I've added to it too, finding old carpet pillows and blankets that the props department were throwing out and one day finding that the art room had thrown out a lot of paint- still perfectly good, so I painted the boxes with scenes. Clouds, flowers, patterns, people, words, anything. I am extremely proud of the work I did, they look amazing and colorful.

But today none of it seemed to make any difference. I lay down on my bed of carpets- which I had meticulously cleaned, and let the tears go. All the tears that had been building up since Saturday, all the times I'd willed myself not to cry, it all came out in a veritable flood. I don't think I'd ever cried so much in my life; it became a release from my torched life and by the end of the tears I'd decided that taking my life was the best way to go-even if it hurt my friends. What good had life brought me in the past few years? Nothing. Zip. Zero.

Suddenly I felt an arm around me, wiping away my tears, cradling me, stroking my hair. I looked up, Robbie. I let him hush my sobs and wipe the lines of mascara off my face. It didn't hurt so much with Robbie by my side, I wasn't so sure if I wanted to live or die, as I had been five minutes ago. Robbie was something to live for, a good thing.

He kept stroking my hair as I let out the last of my strangled sobs. We stayed like that for a decent period of time; I don't know how long as I didn't have a clock, Before I finally got up the courage to speak.

"How did you find me?"

"I knew you'd come here, I found this place ages ago, I thought no one knew about it till I found your little area. I knew it was yours instantly, it's beautiful, just like you." He looked around, at all my paintings, the ones that dotted the boxes "Cat, I don't know what's wrong, and I don't expect you to tell me, but I want to let you know that I'm here to support you, as a shoulder to cry on anything you want. I don't need information. I just hate to see you sad."

"Does it make you hate me when I'm sad? Do you wish you didn't know me?" I ask, playing with the carpet.

"NO! Cat, who ever gave you that idea? You're the most important person in my life!"

I shrugged avoiding eye contact.

"Everyone else is really worried about you." Robbie told me.

I was shocked. They cared? I had imagined them saying things like

_"Thank god She's gone!"_

_"Do you think she'll stay away now?"_

_"Maybe she'll move schools and we will be rid of her." _

The voices in my head that had been screaming these things were slowly subsiding to a dull roar.

"Tori burst into tears, she hates it when you're hurt."

Robbie probably meant it in a nice way but it resounded in my head was 'I do make people unhappy.' I let out another strangled sob, Robbie looked very confused, I really didn't blame him. I blamed myself, over and over.

"Cat, Tori loves you to bits- as a friend; she wants to be able to help you. But the thing is Cat, none of us know how. Even Jade kept muttering over and over "Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" and then she yelled "Why didn't I see this coming? It all makes sense now!" Cat, will you at least tell me what we can do for you?"

"Forget me." I told him, "forget that I ever existed, get on with your lives, become famous, have kids. Anything! Just Forget me."

There were huge tears running down Robbie's Face. "Cat, I can't forget you, nothing anyone ever does will make me forget you, or hate you or be disappointed in you. I need you to tell me what's going on; I need you in my life Cat! I won't let you hurt yourself."

"It's easier that way Robbie." A strange calm washed over me. "You won't have to worry about how stupid I am anymore; you can get on with your life. I won't have to feel pain anymore, or Tears or… anything."

"Cat, tell me what's happening, I need to know, we'll talk about… that other thing afterwards, you just have to tell me what's going on."

I did tell Robbie, I told him everything, from the day I turned five, to my friendship with Jade. I cried a lot, but the hardest thing was telling him about that week. I found it funny how easily I could talk to Robbie; he made me feel totally safe. Usually I would never tell people as much as I told him, Jade was the only one I could be totally honest with, and now maybe Robbie. At the end of my story we sat for a long time in complete silence, finally Robbie spoke.

"Cat, your Parents must be insane not to spend all their time with you, I think they may be robots." He said this with a completely straight face. I gave a small laugh. "And I think your brother may have been kidnapped by the robots and a robot put into his place for that afternoon. The robots obviously really like you and want you to live with them." I giggled "and so does Jade, she wants you to live with her as well, because she's your sister."

"Jade must find me annoying and clingy." I sighed

"NO! Jade loves you, so do the rest of us, we are so happy to have you in our lives, and we always want you to be here."

"Really?" I ask, the tears threatening to overflow again.

He nodded "Shall I take you back to Jades Place?"

"What time is it?" I asked.

"3:40. don't worry, I told Jade I'd take you home, I told her not to worry. Do you want to go for ice cream?" Robbie Grinned

I nodded and giggled, no matter what, ice cream would always be something I couldn't resist- along with red velvet cupcakes. He took my hand and led me back to his car.

I didn't feel quite as alone as I had before, and it felt really good!

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**Sorry that turned out sadder than I thought it would, I hope you all enjoyed it though. I promise things will get better for Cat though :)**

**Thankyou to my wonderful reviewers, I love you SO much!**

**CaburpleGiraffe- My little brother was obsessed with the land before time so I did quite enjoy it too, it's kinda a tribute to him :)**

**sshaw101- dont worry people will explain things to Cat, however it may take some time... **

**vanillaandtoothpaste- I've always thought there was alot more to Jade than what was on the surface, I hope I have effectivly shown this. **

**Tell me what you think :) **

**- Encantria 3**


	7. If only

**Hi Everyone! I have been planning this chapter from the very beginning, so don't worry I have a lot more planned :)**

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So I bet your wondering why- up until now I haven't mentioned Victorious. I mean, it's the reason we're all here, right? Well, here's the simple reason that you're all going to hate me for, I didn't really enjoy it. Of course in first season it was fun, we were internationally famous overnight, who doesn't want that? Especially if you go to a performing arts school? At first when the TV people came, it was just like the spoof 'The Wood' that we did in the first season, strange auditions that seemed a lot of fun at the time. Everyone wanted to get picked; Jade and I went in there determined not to get split up, they made us do separate auditions-much to our horror, and then they looked at friendship groups and the relationships between them. When the show was originally cast it was the five of us and a girl called Ashlee, she wasn't very nice to Jade and I- that was around the end of 9th grade, around the same time Tori transferred over to Hollywood arts, immediate connection. The TV people loved her, Ashlee was kicked out and Tori was in. We filmed the first episode a few weeks later.

The majority of reality TV shows a riddled with interviews from the participants, I'm sure you already realize that Victorious doesn't have any. According to the Producer- Dan Schneider, he wanted the TV show to be 'unique' and unlike any reality show anyone has ever seen. But of course it's still a reality TV show, so it's not really our lives, at first it was fun- exaggerating our little quirks, being weird. But EVERYONE wanted to be our friends, we didn't want to be mean, but we couldn't be friends with everyone, and besides, they just wanted to get on the show. I like the first season and a bit of the second, but hated filming the third, it wasn't at all fun an interesting, and it wasn't our lives.

And now were about to film the fourth season.

AHHHHHH!

No.

Though it's our last. The school signed an agreement that said that they couldn't film during our senior year, after that it was totally up to us as to what we wanted to do, if we wanted to continue, fine, but if we didn't… that would be fine too and the company couldn't talk bad about us finishing etc. They can also only film in the main hallway, Sikowitz's Classroom, the ash felt café and with special permission, the janitor's closet, Black box theatre and other classrooms and the bathroom- only on VERY special occasions. They are also only aloud in Tori's living when it is convenient for the Vega family, all filming starts after 10 in the morning and finished before 8:30 at night, all scenes set outside that allocated time period, would have to be filmed at another time. They are also only allowed at our houses with special permission, so Becks RV used in the show isn't his RV, simply because his parents wouldn't allow it.

So why am I telling you this? Because it was that Monday morning that we started filming again. Season 4. What we had all been dreading. I dressed myself in a cream coloured top with a panda on it and jeans, NO SPARKLES! I give Jade a huge hug, she knows what's it's for- the weekend. Jade was especially patient not mentioning anything of the last week and a bit till she knew I was ready, we had a really long talk on Sunday night. We're going to get an apartment together, with Josh. We'll survive of acting jobs and music gigs, the apartment will be decorated with a forest, one that is happy yet mysterious. Sisters stick together FOREVER, and that's what we will do. This is our family and we will treasure it.

After dropping Josh at school, we head to Hollywood Arts, in the parking lot Jade stops, and doesn't make any move to get out of the car, I can't see her face until she turns, terror in her eyes.

"Catie, I can't do this." She whispers.

"Why not?" I ask, my hands starting to shake, I'm not sure I can do this either.

"Last season… it was awful. I don't want to, I can't." A tear rolls down her cheek.

I wipe the tear away "We can do this, and we will. Somehow we'll come up with a plan, I promise." I give her a hug.

"You sure?" Jade croaks.

I nod and pull her out of the car, "Where did they say we are having that meeting?"

"Room 23." Jade replies, sorting through her bag. We walk in; everyone else is already there so we take our seats as quietly as possible, though sadly we don't go unnoticed.

"Jade, Cat, nice of you to show up." Dan, the producer says.

I Nod "I was, wasn't it?" – see I can be a bit sassy too.

"Ok, so now we have everyone here… Welcome everyone to season 4 of VicTorious!" We all clap half-heartedly, "we have approximately fourteen weeks to film as many episodes as possible, before we wrap up for good." He makes a sad face, "So You guys know the drill with filming and stuff." He looks at all of us, "So, I have some comments off various social media sites for you to consider. Off YouTube, the last episode of last season, 'The blonde squad' it says: "When are Jade and Beck going to get back together? I miss them, sadface." He looked up at Jade and Beck, neither of whom was willing to make eye contact with anyone else. "It's up to you. The next piece of fan mail "Will Cat and Robbie and Tori and André ever get together? It's been three seasons, come on." Those are the three main requests that I have been getting, any ideas?"

"NO" Tori and Andre yelled

"We are NOT getting together." Tori waved her arms wildly, emphasizing her point.

"Alright!" Dan nodded. "That won't be happening. So as you know, it's up to you. You decide the story- with a little help from us. But, Cat, No sparkles? What happened?"

"I got board of sparkles." I shrugged. Dan looked a bit worried.

"Board?" he asked, I nodded. "And Jade, you don't look very scary today."

"Because I don't want to look scary today." Jade told him, I could tell from her tone of voice that she was warning him to back off- not a good sign.

"Right, well maybe you'll feel like being Scary and Sparkly tomorrow. Everyone, looking forward to another season of VicTorious!" We all clapped half-heartedly again.

"Five minutes to the bell." Tori cried, hopping up. "I have to get my books."

"Me to" everyone Mombled, running out.

At Tori's locker we all stopped, "The film crew won't be out until break, will they?" Tori asked as she pulled books out of her locker.

"Nah, they shouldn't be." Andre leaned up against the locker next to Tori's, "They couldn't get their equipment together this fast, and besides it wouldn't be worth it."

"I think we need to control the story lines." Jade commanded.

Trina nodded "I don't really want to be annoying anymore."

Jade rolled her eyes "oh please." And stalked off, I ran after her.

Trina really isn't annoying, she's actually extremely nice and sweet, and talented, she's the best dancer out of all of us. Though Tori undeniably has the better voice out of the two. Trina can sing very nicely, but she's MUCH better at karate and Dancing. Her karate instructor says she might be the best of her age in America. Trina has competed in lots of tournaments and usually wins them; I think she's lost two so far. Most of what you see on the show isn't true about Trina, she's actually a wonderful big sister to Tori, she's not obnoxious at all, and she has a lot of friends. Trina's Loved By a lot of people. A lot of what we say on camera is seriously twisted while being edited together; we don't say mean things about Trina, especially not on camera. Though one thing you see on the show is correct, Trina LOVES shopping. Maybe obsessed is a better word. Trina is obsessed with shopping. That is why, I guess, Trina and I are such good shopping buddies.

I think Jade may have some sort of strange problem in her head that makes her allergic to Trina. Usually Jade is nice to everyone(in her strange Jadeish way)- except when we're being filmed, then she's not. Except Trina, Jade has never been nice to Trina, though she's not as mean as on camera. I usually take her away when I think she's going to be mean. Though until a couple of weeks ago it was starting not to work, I'd pull Jade away and she's yank her arm away from me:

"Go away Cat! I don't need you doing this, Go AWAY!" Then she'd glare at me and stalk off.

I'd be left, staring at a disappearing Jade, a solitary tear rolling down my cheek.

Now it was different, Jade and I had made up, I could talk to Jade without fear of being yelled at.

"Come on Jade, Trina really is trying, give her a chance." I grabbed my friends arm and spun her around.

Jade looked a bit grumpy "We have Class." She strode off, avoiding my question.

"Jade…" I ran after her, this was going to be a long day.

* * *

**So, did you enjoy it? Although I need your opinion , Do you want Tori and Andre together?**

**Thankyou to my three FABULOUS REVIEWERS:**

**sshaw101, vanillaandtoothpaste and CaburpleGiraffe. To all of you: Robbie is pretty cool, I've always thought he didn't get enough credit for the things he does and that he's not given enough screen time without Rex :)  
**

**Well, until next time :) xxx**

**Encantria 3**


	8. Shopping with Josh

**Hi everyone!**

**You know what I discovered this week****_ (It probs shouldn't have taken this long...) _****Most of you live in America, and since I live in Australia that means while for me I'm posting these chapters on a Saturday, for you its actually Friday. Those of you who don't live in America, You may ow continue to laugh at me...**

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I cannot even explain how GLAD I was when that day was over. The film crew followed us around ALL day, even though I was so used to it, I still felt weird and uncomfortable about the whole thing. No one said much at lunch, even though we were told repeatedly that 'You need to talk otherwise we aren't going to have any footage." Bla, Bla, BLA! No one cares!

We all went home our separate ways that afternoon; the film crew went home to, disappointed. Good. It took a couple for days after that for Jade and I to come up with the plan. Wednesday afternoon, we picked up Josh and came home to a pigsty of a house, kindly left for us by Jades Mom, and a note, written in a messy, scrawled handwriting. Jade picked it up of the top of the dirty kitchen counter, she gave a hollow laugh, rolled her eyes and handed the note to me.

_Children… and Animals_

_I've gone to Vegas, I've left you $20 for food, don't spend it all at once, that's all your getting._

The note wasn't even signed, though the $20 was still there. Jade was crumpling it in her fingers, looking angry.

"Wow, how kind of her. She'll probably be away for weeks, months even." Jade took a deep breath "lucky I took $300 last night from her wallet."

"Are we going to starve?" Josh asked, asked his eyes wide with horror.

"Oh no!" Jade bent down to his level, with a smile, "Oh no Joshie, We won't starve, I'll make sure of it." He gave her a big hug. Jade stood back up. "Would you like something to eat?"

He nodded, tongue hanging out of his mouth "Milk shake!" he exclaimed. Jade laughed "How about a smoothie?" More furious nodding from the eight year old.

That Laugh of Jades, I love it, it's so nice to hear it again. When Jade laughs properly, her whole face lights up, and her eyes have a special sparkle in them. It's like one of those laughs that girls always wish they have, beautiful, light, and happy, not to loud or to soft, perfect. I'm not even sure Beck really got to hear it while they were dating, but Jade used to laugh a lot when we were younger, now it's so rare to hear.

Once Joshes smoothie is made, Jade sits him down at the table to do his homework. I follow Jade into her room.

"Catie…" Jade sits on the edge of her bed, I sit beside her "Do you think they'll let me have a bit more money a week? I mean, we must earn… a lot of money, from doing Victorious. And they only let us have… $200 a week? Joshie's growing… he needs new clothes, the water, electricity bills, food… At least I can buy another months' worth of Food, maybe, if I plan carefully…" She wipes a tear off the cheek. I take a deep breath, pushing away all the feelings of Sadness… Act Cat! Come on…

I pull her towards me, "We'll work it out Jade. I promise. Somehow we'll do it." I hug her tight. Doesn't matter what I feel, Jade and Josh matter more. That must be why I'm here, to look after them, I have to do my job properly.

"Hey!" I said and an idea struck me, "Why don't we clean up the house? You've wanted to do it for years, and besides it will keep our mind off things." Mainly it will keep me occupied. "Even better, why don't you have a lie down and I'll take Josh out for some ice cream, or something." I gave her my biggest and most energetic smile.

"Oh Catie." Jade wiped the tears from her eyes "I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. And besides it's the least I could do after you let me stay here." I give her a big smile and pat her back "we'll start cleaning up afterwards." I bounce out of the room "Relax Jade, please."

"Hey Joshie" I pick up Jades keys and sit beside him at the table.

"Hi…" he hurriedly scribbles his homework down.

"How would you like to have an afternoon off homework?" that got his attention. "Why don't you and I go out and do some fun Josh and Catie things?"

"No Jade?" he asks, pouting.

"Jades having a little lie down, so I figured we should give her some peace and quiet."

He thinks for a second, then nodes "Jade is tired…" Shows how well he knows his sister. I smile and nod, Josh jumps up, stuffing his homework in his school bag and taking my hand. For an eight year old he's still very clingy, though Jade is so glad. She hopes that Josh will never grow into one of those awful teenage boys who are ashamed of their family. Jade always wants her little Joshie. I think she would freeze him growing up if she could, but we both know that's not possible. I just hope that Josh will always appreciate Jade, because if he didn't… He is her only actual family, there is no guarantee that Jade would be ok if that happened.

"Ok Joshie, I thought maybe we could do the grocery shopping…" I trail off, he's pouting at me, trying to look as grumpy as possible.

"I thought you said this would be fun!"

"And it will be." I repair hurriedly, "It will be fun grocery shopping." He still doesn't look happy. "After I thought we could get ice cream." He lights up, "Listen, Joshie, You know that at the moment Jade and I are dealing with some pretty important stuff." I don't look at him, I just concentrate on the road. "I figured if you helped me do the shopping then Jade could feel less stressed."

"What about you?" he asks.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine." FULLSTOP. _You better believe it Catie._

It is a little known fact that I can drive, but I can, I just don't advertise it. I do everything I can to avoid Driving during Victorious; I don't want cameras in my car, obstructing my view. That's stupid. Jade seems to be able to do it, without much hassle, we are always filming episodes where Jade drives. It is true that Tori hasn't got her full license yet, she doesn't want that advertised either, but somehow it happened, the produces found out and thought they could turn it in to a great episode story. When they sorted it out there was nothing Tori could do. Unfair Much! I guess people just think Cat is to Stupid, so no one comments. Major Sigh! I know I'm not _that_ smart, but I'm not stupid. I do well in all my subjects- accept science, I have failed every science class… my whole life. I know science is everywhere, and I know it should be simple to understand, but I just don't get it, and I never have. I hate it that people just assume that because Cat says stupid things, that she's dumb! And just because I don't understand science doesn't mean I'm dumb.

Josh is surprisingly good at doing the shopping, he seems to know exactly what we need, with minimal unnecessary additions to the Shopping cart-such as lollies. He did find a land before time DVD in one of the isles…

"Catie, Catie, CATIE! Look, Loooooook!..." he bounces like a jumping bean in a jack-in-the-box, holding the DVD out for me to see.

"Yes, yes I can see." I laugh, nodding in time to his bouncing. "But don't you already have that one?" he stops bouncing, and stares at it, hard.

"Oh yer!" he breaks out into a smile once more and bounds off.

"It's so hard to say no to them isn't it?" a voice beside me says. I whip around to face the lady, and smile.

"Umm…"

"You mustn't find it too hard to do the grocery shopping with him; I always do my shopping while mine are at their Monday music lesson. Otherwise the cart overflows with things we don't need." She laughs. I try to find the words to tell her he's not mine but nothing comes out, I just keep smiling.

"Catie! There's a new dinosaur movie, look…" Josh trails off, coming to a standstill beside me, he looks up at the Lady.

The lady smiles at him, "My son likes dinosaur's too." She bends down to his level. "What movie it that?"

He holds out the movie for us to see, _Jurassic Park_. I almost laugh, because that movie is so old, but I contain myself just in time.

"Ooh, that is a good movie! I went and saw it in the cinemas, you know." She smiles encouragingly at him.

"You did?" his eyes are wide as saucers, "Catie Can we get it? Please? please-please-please?"

"Do you think Jade would watch another movie about dinosaurs with you?"

"But you would, wouldn't you Catie?"

I laugh and the lady smiles. "Maybe you would like to meet my son; he's 8 and loves dinosaurs. I think he would l_ove_ to see the movie with you." Then she smiles at me, "And your big sister and your Mom might like to have coffee with me?"

Josh is Thrilled. The woman writes out her number on a piece of paper and hands it to me.

"I'm Gale" she smiles, putting out her hand for me to shake.

"Cat" I smile, "And this is Josh."

"Well it was very nice meeting you both, but I must continue with my shopping." She gives us one last smile and disappears.

"I'm free anytime" Josh tells me, "I'm always free" To any person my age this would be a devastating fact, but Josh says it like he's proud of it.

"Ok, we have to tell Jade though."

"Yay!" He cheers. "Now let's go get ice cream!"

"We have to finish the shopping." I push the Cart on and Josh grabs for my hand.

"Catie?"

"Mhumm?"

"Why did you tell that woman your name was Cat? Your names not Cat, its Catie!" He looks at me his dark hazel eyes wide and curious… and for some reason, scared.

"I don't know." I tell him, taking a deep breath. "Force of habit I guess."

"And why did that woman tell me to bring my Mom? What about you? I want you and Jade to come!"

I try to think of a logical, understandable explanation "I think she thought that I was your big sister and Jade is your Mom."

He nods, a thoughtful look crossing his face, before he leans against my arm. I push the cart to the register and hear:

"Now is it time for Ice Cream?"

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**So there you have it, I hope you liked it, big things will start happening soon, now that I have introduced you to my wonderful world of Victorious.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed: sshaw101 ****_(thank you for answering My question, it is much appreciated :)) _****CaburpleGiraffe and Nikki**

**You three get a SUPER special imaginary gold star!**

**I am going away next Friday and will try and get another chapter up either on Thursday night or Friday morning and I will post one when I get back (when ever that is, my kind parents still haven't told me...)**

**Merry Christmas or Happy holidays Everyone!**

**Tell me what you think**

**Encantria xxxx 3**


	9. Plans are a wonderful thing!

Have you ever had cameras follow you around? Not just silent un-noticeable cameras, but cameras who tell you that you aren't doing it right, that your life should have more drama in it, that you should be more stupid?

Well I have. And they are very annoying.

Anyway, sorry grumpy rant over. I'm just really tired of the nonsense they make. Jade and I came up with a plan, of how to get them out of our lives. We were lying on Jades bed, Josh was asleep and we were both in our PJ's, hair brushed back out of the way into very unflattering hairstyles.

"We have to come up with a plan tonight…" Jade trailed off, sighing.

"I know. I am so sick of those cameras!... even though it has only been three days."

"Do you think we could get them to NOT follow us around at school?"

"Maybe… if we filmed the episode all at once, in a matter of hours, then they wouldn't have any reason to keep following us."

"Yer…" Jade sat up, a grin forming on her face. "If we flmed it somewhere else… in a matter of hours. They couldn't follow us around at school, they'd have all the footage they needed!" I nodded- wasn't that pretty much what I just said? Anyway, "Wankos! Wankos is having a sale! We'll go to the sale, film for a couple of hours, and then we'll be done!"

I laughed, it was so simple, so easy and as long as the produces agreed, foolproof.

That was last night, this morning we tell the produces. And everyone else.

…

"Hi Dan!" _Channel Cat, come on Cat!_

"Girls! What can I do for you?" he turns, smiling. "I am _Loving_ the sparkle Cat! And Jade, great outfit!"

"Yer, whatever." Jade monotones. "Cat and I were thinking that maybe the Victorious Cast could go to Wanko's this weekend for the sale, and you could film that?"

Dan looks us for a long moment, I hold my breath, come on, this has to work! I hate having cameras follow me around. "That's a great idea!" Dan breaks into a huge smile. "I love it! A great way to change it up a little, so you're not always at school. I'll just run it by the rest of the team. I'm so glad I have you two to come up with interesting ideas!" He gives us one last smile before he leaves. I giggle and twirl my hair round my finger, Jade gives my hand a gentle slap.

"Don't Catie, he's gone."

"I just wanted to make sure…"

Now to tell the others.

…

Tori shut her locker and turned to face us, "So, you think that if we can get them to do this… Wanko's segment then they'll quit following us with cameras for the rest of the week?"

"It's worth a shot." Beck said with a shrug. André and Robbie both nodded.

"What's worth a shot?" Trina asked, high heels in hand.

"Why haven't you got your shoes on?" Tori grumpily gestured to the sparkly gold stilettos.

"Because, I'm only wearing these for filming. Dan told me I had to be more 'Trina'. Now, whats worth a shot?"

"Cat and Jade have a plan to stop them following us around so much." Andre explained.

"Really?" Trina turned to us, she looked thrilled. "That's wonderful, Amazing! How do we do it?"

We explained it to her, everyone adding their own little bits to our Master plan.

"We could start now." Robbie suggested, "That way they won't have any excuse to come to film us at school."

"You mean start filming… Now? As in now-now?" Trina asked.

Robbie nodded, we all agreed on our plan of action and I went to collect the film crew.

What you see in the episode 'Wanko's Warehouse' the beginning sceneis pretty close to the original thing, although we hadn't planned on having Sinjin kick Tori… or have Trina hit her… Dan told us it would be funnier and more realistic if she did, and not knowing what else to do, Trina did it.

When we finished Dan yelled "Cut! Good work everyone, see you all on Saturday outside Wanko's!"

The Film crew packed up and went home, and we went to class- 15 minutes late. We had had quite enough time to film the scene, but we had to keep doing it over and over. Lucky it didn't take any longer, because when I go into class my teacher Miss Giblet glared menacingly at me.

"Catarina, You're late!"

"I'm Sorry Miss…" I handed her the note from Dan, the one he wrote every time, the one I so desperately wished I didn't have. Teaches hated it, they were so sick of it- and so was I. But there was nothing any of us could do; It was with in the contract that we could miss bits off classes, as long as we made them up afterwards.

"This is not a plausible excuse Catarina. You can't just waltz in here, and expect me to just let you interrupt my class, that's preposterous." She turned picking up a detention slip.

"No! No, No, NO, NO, NO!" I whispered

"oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!" She hissed.

"I have a note though! You can't give me a detention for no reason!"

"Talking back…" she wrote on the slip.

I opened my mouth to fight back, but closed it a moment later. There was no use arguing, and besides, everyone was staring at me.

"You can't give her a detention for that!" A voice from the back of the class room yelled. I turned, Joseph. I gave him a small thank you smile.

"Alright Mr. Levi! You now have detention with Catarina."

"That's not fair…" I whispered. "He didn't do anything wrong" I looked her straight in the eyes. "I'll go to the principle. Just don't give Joseph a detention." I took both pink slips and my late note and marched out of the classroom. A chorus of whistles and 'oohhs' sounded as I left, I didn't turn to look back. Tears stung my eyes, it wasn't fair! I didn't want to be late. Stupid Geography! Stupid teacher! I stopped outside the principal's office, composing myself, I took a deep breath and knocked.

"Come in!" A cheerful voice called. I pushed open the door. "Cat, what can I do for you?" Helen asked, smiling at me. Her smile made me want to burst into tears.

I handed her the three pieces of paper. Not daring to speak. Helen inspected them and looked back at me, confused.

"My teacher gave me a detention for being late and I told her that wasn't fair and that she couldn't give me a detention for that, so she gave me one for talking back." I took a deep breath meaning to go on, but Helen continued for me.

"And someone stood up for you so she gave them a detention to. And sent you to me." I nodded, "which teacher was this?"

"Miss Giblet." I answered.

Helen nodded, inspecting the pieces of paper. "Look Cat, there's not much I can do for you. But I can revoke the detention, from your friend as well. And I will talk to Mr. Schneider; ask him not to keep you past the bell. Sadly Cat, These contracts were signed before I got here- by the school, I have no say over them. I will also talk to Miss Giblet and tell her there must be a vailed reason for the detention…" she looked at her computer for a long moment. "I can change your geography class; you seem to be having trouble there, getting lots of detentions which I'm not seeing in any other class. How does that sound?"

I nodded "Yes please!"

"How about you go and clean up, and miss the rest of this class. There is no point in you going back till I have talked to Miss Giblet." She smiled at me.

"Thank you!" I whispered. She showed me out, a small smile creeping up on her face.

I spent the rest of the period day-dreaming and doing nothing in particular. All my friends were in class, but it was nice to have the opportunity to be on my own, think through… recent events. I sat in the sun on the roof of the school- another one of my hiding places, thought there are quite a few people who come up here. No one however came up this period- thank goodness!

The rest of the day was boring. No filming, and no more trips to the principal's office. It made for a nice afternoon. In Sikowitz's class we didn't do improve- I'm sure your pretty shocked about that. For the past few lessons we've been working on a unit called Cultural Drama. Funny enough I'm with Jade, Robbie, Tori, Beck and Andre. We didn't want to work together, but since it's the beginning of filming we have to because otherwise we may cause a 'disruption to class work'. We were given a list of cultures to research, then we had to pick a culture and a play, read that play and perform a 4-5 minute extract and hand in a rational on our 'dramatic techniques'. It sounds hard but it's really not, we chose our play in one lesson- Robbie went on holiday to Australia with his Mom and the saw a production of the Australian play _Ruby Moon_It's ridiculously weird and creepy but is easy because there are lots of dramatic techniques. I could go on for hours about staging and character interpretation, but all you need to know is that we have chosen multiple scenes and mashed them together. We don't- unlike common conception, not do our homework and Classwork… Apart from sometimes Jade… but as a rule we are all pretty good. I should add to that that Tori has never had detention before and that the episode _The Breakfast Bunch_ was completely staged.

So another rather pointless day passes, one where I wonder what the point in going to school is. Is there any? Am I actually learning anything? Or is the only reason I'm still there to film Victorious?

* * *

Hi Guys,

I'm really sorry I didn't post this sooner, I went away after Christmas and have spent the last 2 weeks with my family camping. that was really cool cause I got to see all my cousins. But now I'm sick :(

Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)

Thank you to all those who reviewed :)

xxx 3

Encantria


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